If you missed the latest on the vlog, see below for more on my thoughts on dating online as a millennial:
It’s taken me a lot of thought, revisions and NERVE to post this next blog/vlog -oooh girl [or boy] I’m starting a conversation about dating apps! Before I go any further, please know that I understand online dating is NOT for everyone. I actually wasn’t an advocate for it until I tried it. My goal is not to tell you that you MUST try online dating if you are single. I simply want to share a pretty cool experience around the cultural phenomenon of dating apps that completely changed my attitude towards dating in your twenties. Join me in this conversation…I want to know your thoughts and experiences!
Modern Dating With A Traditional Mindset
Let me start by this: I actually have pretty traditional views on dating and have always felt opposed to online dating apps… especially for young people. Here’s why: if you are living close to the place you grew up (like me), you probably find that you have a variety of groups of friends from either high school, college, family or work. I regularly do social things like attending networking events, going to happy hours and going out on weekends with my friends. In many ways, I consider myself a pretty stereo-typical twenty-something year old girl. I’m driven to succeed but I also want to have as much fun as possible along the way (especially B.C. – before children YIKES). I also tend to be the first one to break the ice when I find myself around a new group of people. All of these things made me think that I was not a candidate for dating online.
Single, Awkward & Tipsy
I found myself single last January and in an awkward phase in life. Some of my friends were still in college or grad school, some still had the freedom to go out on a Tuesday, others were in a serious relationship. The awkward part of being in your twenties is everyone is in a different place: some of us are becoming parents, some are getting married, some are trying to graduate college in our 7th year, and some of us are moving across the globe. Newly single, I was still trying to navigate life in the “real” world, trying to find the rhythm of a full time job that added loads of pressure to my every day life. My weeks consisted of waking up early, getting ready for work, going to work, focusing all day on trying my best to keep my clients happy, trying to hit the gym either before or after work, and coming home. Nothing too exciting, nothing to brag about.
Every weekend me and the girls would rally up and go hang out with our same group of friends. When we would go out to the bars, we’d meet guys that we were attracted to. The problem was, the guys I kept meeting were not the kind of quality guys that I wanted. Many were very surface level, ego-centric horn dogs [ugh] trying to maintain this image of masculinity that no offense – I saw straight through. Not interested in all this nonsense, I felt frustrated. Although I wasn’t looking to run to the alter tomorrow, I was looking for someone genuine to enjoy life with in hopes to find out if that person was someone I’d want to spend my life with.
The Newest Thing: Hinge
Worn out from bar hopping and meeting boys out on the town, I said screw it. I’m going to try this “super lame dating app” thing. My coworkers used it and encouraged it, so I blame them (thank you!!). Being a sucker when under peer pressure, I caved and downloaded Hinge. Hinge is a dating app directly connected to Facebook. You only get to swipe through ten matches a day and you MUST have mutual friends on Facebook to get matched with someone. This makes it really easy to cyber stalk whoever it is you’re matched with [because duh you have to see if this person passes the online personality test]. Plus, it gives you both a common topic to talk about. I like my friends, so if you know them, I might like you too.
I went on several Hinge dates and felt like I was matched with guys who were more interested in getting to know me than the bros at the bars. I was pretty pleased with my experience but after serially dating for five months, I was getting to a point where I wanted to lay off the dates for a while. I met some great people, but when I kept putting myself out there and not finding exactly what I was looking for, I felt tired and a little disheartened.
My Last Hinge Date
In May of last year, I switched jobs and between my old job and new job, took a week off and went to Cabo and Southern California. I was single on this trip, but this one guy I connected with on Hinge was staying in touch throughout the trip. At the time, I felt this connection was minuscule and I wasn’t sure anything would come of it, mainly because I hadn’t met this person yet and I wasn’t sure I ever would. We connected on Hinge earlier in the month, and we hadn’t made plans to meet. I wasn’t able to meet until I got back from vacation. Once I returned, I agreed to meet him on Memorial Day.
Apparently I was late, although I think I was right on time 😉 I walked up to the table and introduced myself to John, my newest Hinge date. Our time was spent getting to know the basics about each other: where we grew up, what we did for work, what we were passionate about, what our family was like and we even discussed previous relationships. I’m a really open book and I’m well aware that it turns some people off, but he seemed just as interested as me to learn more. && the rest is history…we saw each other 4 times in the first week of knowing each other and have been pretty inseparable ever since.
Being single is all about trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone; but also finding yourself. The more that you know who you are, the easier it’ll be for you to find what you want. I loved Hinge because it allowed me to try new things by meeting new people, going to new places and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. In fact, I feel like in those moments, I was learning about myself and finding out who I was.
I want to know: how do you feel about online dating? What’s your experience with it? What do you like about it? Or what is holding you back from trying it? Let’s chat, I want to hear what you think! Thanks for listening or reading the latest, can’t wait to hear from you!