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Dating in 2018. What a confusing thing to do. In a world full of options, technology, and hours of mindless scrolling a day, is there even a real strategy to having success at dating?
To give you a little background on my experience dating, I found myself single back in 2015 when dating apps were ALL the rage, ya’ll. At first, I was super skeptical about getting on one because I’m from the city I live in (Dallas) and have several friend groups full of opportunities to meet other people!!
I was out every weekend, meeting new people, but started to get tired of the same douchey Dallas guys who were immature and unable to commit.
Fast forward to today, I’m in a happy relationship and all thanks to this little app called Hinge. Hinge was the game changer for me. Without it, I would probably have never met John who truly is such an amazing guy.
Enough about me.. so before diving in please do know that I understand that not everyone is cut out for online dating. If you strongly believe in the philosophy that things will happen when they’re supposed to, then this post probably isn’t for you.
I believe that with timing – everything happens the way it supposed to; but on the same token, I know that if I want to achieve something, I’m going to have to try at it and give it my all.
I get asked all the time how I met my boyfriend, and if I liked dating apps. I feel like I was very successful with online dating, and today I wanted to share some of the things I learned through my experiences!
1. Mindset Is Everything
Before you decide to go online in hopes to find Mr. Right, I found that making sure my mind was in the right place helped me be more successful. I looked at dating in a very casual manner. I didn’t put a ton of unnecessary pressure on myself to meet my husband overnight.
This might not sound romantic, but I looked at dating like a job. I wanted to be successful, I wanted to grow, and to do that, I simply had to put myself out there and try. I went on a lot of dates, and the more times I put myself in this awkward position, the better I got at it!
The biggest thing is to not put too much pressure on yourself and make sure you look at it as an opportunity to grow. In this process, you’re simply taking steps to the next chapter. Don’t get discouraged when you meet someone that isn’t a good fit for you or your life.
And don’t give up just because it’s hard. With a positive and strong mindset, you truly can achieve anything!
With dating apps, you have two ways to establish a first impression: your profile and the things you say in the direct messages. This is like a job interview process, so it is OK to express genuine interest and engage in genuine conversation.
If someone doesn’t reciprocate or if someone takes several days to respond every time you reach out, they may not be as dedicated to the process. This can be a red flag and would signal it’s time to keep swiping!
Communication is the foundation to any successful relationship, and I believe it also helps weed out anyone who might not be serious in finding a match. *Bonus points if he wants to call or FaceTime before you meet!*
Texting and direct messaging is great and all, but you’re not trying to become someone’s new penpal. I would give a guy around 1 to 2 weeks to ask me out before I would let them go. And honestly, I would talk to several people at the same time to kind of feel out my candidates. 🙂 It’s work, ya’ll!! But fun work, in my opinion!
3. Your First Impression: The Profile
When it comes to your dating profile, I suggest getting some good photos in good lighting. Ask a friend to help you get some cute pictures outside or close to a window in your house. Natural light always enhances those beautiful features! Unfortunately, in dating apps, looks are the first thing that you will be judged on.
The more effort you put into getting a good pic of yourself, the more success you will have. The description section, depending on which app you use, always frustrated me because I never knew what to say. Like how do I summarize me in a few words?! What kind of task is this?!
Therefore, I tended to keep it short, outlining some of the key things that pretty much anyone could identify about my life. What I do, hobbies, city, school. Pretty basic. Personally, I’d much rather get to know someone face-to-face vs via DM/text message. If they really want to know more about me, they’ll take me out and see what they’re in for! 😛
4. Cyber Stalker Skills
Look, I have no shame in my cyber stalking game. If you need to know something about someone, hit me up! Lol, kidding…but we DO live in the 21st century ya’ll, and most of us have social media profiles. If your app gives first and last name, Google that sh*t. See if anything comes up in searches or photos. Look at Facebook profiles and Instagram handles. This saved me SO much time when dating because I’m pretty picky. #SorryNotSorry
When you take the time to do some extra research, you’ll get to see from an insider’s perspective what this person is like. Unfortunately for me, my boyfriend didn’t “do” social media so he had nothing interesting on his profiles (sorry babe, I think you’re interesting in real life though?!). He called me before I agreed to meet up, and his voice had me hooked. 😉 He got bonus points for picking up the dang phone and not hiding behind a screen!
5. Have Fun & Relax
Dating truly is a very emotional process. You’re putting yourself out there, allowing yourself to be extremely vulnerable, and setting yourself up for potential disappointment. Trust me, I hit a wall at one point in dating after being let down numerous times. I was just about to give up, but I didn’t, and in the same month I thought about moving to Europe and becoming a gypsy, I met my boyfriend. 🙂
Try your best to just have fun. I went on dozens of dates that didn’t end up being a romantic connection, but I still had fun with each and every single one. Try and stay lighthearted with it as long as you can. And my rule is there are no rules. If you want to kiss on the first date, do it!
Another way to look at it is you are in pursuit of your forever person, but right now is the only time in your life you will be single (that is if you’re seeking a lifetime of marriage) 😛 try and enjoy it and take time to invest in yourself. Being single truly allows you to become who you are. It is a beautiful time of life and it should not be taken advantage of or frowned upon.
From what I’ve been told, the best dating apps right now are Bumble and Hinge. This post is not sponsored, this is strictly through word-of-mouth. Another good one is The League, but that one requires an invitation.
If you have any questions about dating apps or my experience using them, please comment below or send me a direct message!
Until next time…XXXO
This look is a perfect date night look! I would wear it to a nice dinner on a Saturday night with my man. The ruffles add a feminine touch, and the skirt accentuates the waist. This is the perfect outfit for my booty-poppin ladies as it creates the perfect symmetry on your beautiful figure. Not to mention, the Sam Edelman heels are my favorite pointed-toe heel EVER. They give you the sexiest, slender leg and are SUPER comfy to walk in. It’s a win-win!